Other people have incredible power over things that matter to you. They can physically hurt your body. They can discourage and distract your soul from looking at Jesus. They can steal and take your possessions. And they can also slander and libel you to destroy your reputation.

I’ve spent a lot of time reading Luther’s Small Catechism in the last several months, which is just a simple, biblical, explanation of the Ten Commandments, Apostles’ Creed, Our Father, Baptism, Lord’s Supper and Christian Vocations of good works.

In it, he talks about reputation in three places: The 8th commandment is about protecting people’s reputations. A good reputation is one aspect of daily bread—the things we need for this life. And the prayer to “deliver us from evil” is partly about protecting us from damage to our reputation. And he expands on the idea in the Large Catechism:

Besides our own body, our spouse, and our temporal property, we have one more treasure that is indispensable to us, namely, our honor and good reputation. For it is important that we not live among people in public disgrace and dishonor. Therefore God does not want our neighbors deprived of their reputation, honor, and character any more than of their money and possessions; he wants everyone to maintain self-respect before spouse, child, servant, and neighbor. (Large Catechism I.255-256)

Luther rightly understood that libel and slander are truly evil, and I sometimes wonder if this is because he was slandered so deeply and so often by others. I think if he were around today, Luther would rightly recognise the unbiblical nature of the old nursery rhyme that I and others in my generation may have heard growing up as children:

“Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”

This nursery rhyme is not only untrue—it’s completely unbiblical.

One part of the Bible that addresses this directly is the prayer of Jabez. A prayer frequently misunderstood and misappropriated by Prosperity Gospel preachers, the true theme of the prayer is about how the God who is in a good mood with us purely because of Jesus can overcome even a ruined reputation. Here’s what Jabez prays:

Jabez was more honourable than his brothers; and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, “Because I bore him in pain.” Jabez called upon the God of Israel, saying, “Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my border, and that your hand might be with me, and that you would keep me from harm so that it might not bring me pain!” And God granted what he asked. (1 Chronicles 4:9-10)

Names are important in the Hebrew Bible—especially when we’re told about the naming of a character and its meaning. Jabez himself appears in just these two verses in the whole Bible, and one of those verses is all about the meaning of his name.

In Jabez’ case the reason we’re told his name is because one’s name in the ancient world was one’s reputation. The Chronicler explicitly tells us he is more honourable than his brothers, which I think is supposed to indicate that he lives from trust in God within a family who, the Chronicler may hint, lived largely from trust in themselves. And within that family Jabez was called names—literally. His mother names him after the pain he caused her, tarnishing Jabez’ reputation for life.

Does that sound like a helpful thing for a mother to do? Not particularly. But so many of us know the harm and damage we can experience from those closest to us, even growing up. Human beings cause all sorts of genuine pain to one another.

Jabez’ prayer is often misunderstood by reading it outside of this tiny and immediate piece of context, as being a raw power grab. Some sort of plea for greed and success. But his prayer is much more targeted than that.

His prayer is a direct response to his situation, which is being a faithful man with a reputation besmirched and blemished by the words of another. In response, Jabez doesn’t “get even” with his mother. He doesn’t dishonour her. He remembers and considers the Fourth Commandment. Neither does he take matters into his own hands. He doesn’t try to “fix it” or settle any scores.

No, his response is to pray. To submit the injustice he’s received to the God of Israel, whom he knows is good to him, despite his own circumstances—which is exactly what that God told him, and you, and me to do:

Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you. (Proverbs 20:22)

The way Jabez concludes his prayer makes it explicitly clear that he is responding to the reputational damage dealt to him by his mother:

…so that it might not bring me pain!

The four requests leading up to this call upon God’s promises to be good to us. Promises that have now been fulfilled in Jesus:

Oh that you would bless me

God promised to bless all those who bless Abraham:

I will bless those who bless you, and him who dishonours you I will curse, and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed. (Genesis 12:3)

And all those who trust Jesus receive this blessing:

so that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham might come to the Gentiles, so that we might receive the promised Spirit through faith. (Galatians 3:14)

Whoever you are reading this, and whatever your reputation. Whatever people have said about you, whatever slander or libel you’ve had to endure, the prayer of Jabez teaches you this: in Jesus Christ you are blessed. Know he will vindicate you on the last day.

and enlarge my border

God promised to give the people of Israel the land of Canaan as an inheritance, in which the messiah would be born:

Then the LORD appeared to Abram and said, “To your offspring I will give this land.” (Genesis 12:7)

So when Jabez prays, “enlarge my border,” he is not praying like a greedy man grasping for more than God has given him. He is praying like an Israelite asking the God of Israel to give him his promised inheritance.

That matters, because a damaged reputation can make your world feel very small. It isolates you, and drives people and relationships away from you. It traps you inside the name other people have given you. It can make you afraid to step forward, speak, serve, work, build, or belong.

Jabez asks God not to let the painful name he has been given become the boundary of his life.

In Jesus, God has given you an inheritance greater than Jabez could have imagined. Peter says Christians have been born again:

to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you (1 Peter 1:4)

So whatever people have said about you, they do not get to decide your inheritance. They do not get to decide your future. They do not get to close the kingdom of heaven against you, as though the keys of the kingdom rested on human opinion rather than the Word of God.

In Jesus Christ, your border is not the narrow space left to you by other people’s opinions. Your inheritance is the kingdom of God.

and that your hand might be with me

God’s right hand is the way that God exercises his power to do good to his people:

And I told them of the hand of my God that had been upon me for good (Nehemiah 2:18)

Jesus sits at right hand of God. God exercises his power through the Gospel of forgiveness in Christ. Satan, who makes accusations of the Law, is not seated there:

he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the LORD, and Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him. And the LORD said to Satan, “The LORD rebuke you, O Satan!” (Zechariah 3:1-2)

The LORD says to my Lord: “Sit at my right hand, until I make your enemies your footstool.” (Psalm 110:1)

But he, full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. And he said, “Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.” (Acts 7:55-56)

Whatever trouble or difficulty you’ve faced, know that the right hand of God—the exercise of his almighty power, operates for your good and forgiveness. He doesn’t operate to shame and humiliate you.

and that you would keep me from harm

Jabez echoes the Aaronic blessing, given by the priests to the Israelites when they go to worship:

Thus you shall bless the people of Israel: you shall say to them, The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. (Numbers 6:24-26)

Which seems significant as the last request before Jabez explicitly prays about the name his mother gave him, because God explains in Numbers 6 that this blessing is God putting his name on the Israelites for their good:

 “So shall they put my name upon the people of Israel, and I will bless them.” (Numbers 6:27)

This is precisely what Jesus will later say Baptism is:

Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, (Matthew 28:19)

Jesus says this because Baptism defines you. This is Christian Gospel:

People’s opinions don’t define you.
Your circumstances don’t define you.
What you do and what happens to you don’t define you.

God’s name, his blessing, his forgiveness, his love for you in Christ: this is what defines you. That’s why God gives you his own name—his own reputation—in Baptism.

Jabez’s prayer is not a Prosperity Gospel: it is a Promise Gospel. It is the prayer of a man who suffers and struggles, but even in the midst of that refuses to be defined by those sufferings and struggles, but instead is honourable: he receives God’s promises and trusts them by calling on God to give them to him in prayer.

After all, as Paul says, “everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer.” (1 Timothy 4:4-5)—which includes you, because you also are one of “everything.”

So if you have been damaged by what other people have said about you, do not pretend it does not hurt. That childhood rhyme would be more biblical if it went:

Sticks and stones can break my bones, and words can cause real pain.
But no suff’ring will ever take from me Christ’s good, great name.

Slander is evil. A ruined reputation is a real grief. But other people’s words are not your final word. Nor are they the word that stands at the right hand of God.

Bring your name, your reputation, your shame, your fear, and your pain to the God of Israel. He is not against you. He has given his Son for you. He has put his name on you. He has promised you an inheritance. He has raised Jesus from the dead and seated him at his right hand for your good. Ask him for these good things.

And if you want to hear that promise spoken clearly to you, come and hear the Gospel. Come and receive Christ’s forgiveness. Come and learn what God has actually said about you in Jesus.

People’s opinions don’t define you.

Christ does.

If you live near Greater Manchester, come and receive this proclamation of God’s name at Manchester Lutheran Church every Sunday. Join us at 10:45am for coffee and 11:00am for the service: https://mcrlt.ch/sundays/

If you live outside Greater Manchester, you can hear and receive the proclamation of God’s name online with the Confessional Lutheran Church every Wednesday at 6:00pm: https://lutheran.ch/online-service/